How to Win Friends And Influence People?

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How to Win Friends and Influence People?

I think this is a good topic to discuss because it has a close similarity with this class, and also it contains some techniques and statements that can help us develop our relationship with others. Which that being said, we can go to the topic of my presentation: How to Win Friends and Influence People? This is the name of a book which I took this idea from, and also the content of my speech. It was written in 1936 by Dale Carnegie, and it continues to be a best seller.

The first and in my opinion most important thing in this book is becoming genuinely interested in other people. You can make more friends in a short period of time showing interest in others than you can in twice the time by getting people interest in you. The next best thing to talking about themselves is talking about the things that they enjoy. You can incite people to talk about themselves because everybody loves talk about what they do, what they like, what they have done.

The second is closely related with the first one. Give Honest and sincere appreciation. Who doesn’t love honest and sincere appreciation? This is not about flattery because flattery is of the tongue, and appreciation is of the heart. Any one can say something nice, but there is a difference between that and saying something with really appreciation. For example, instead of saying just thank you, we can say thank you for, and give them the meaning behind why you are thankful.

The third thing I’m going to discuss is avoid criticism. Nobody likes to hear your lament and complaints. People are there to be motivated, inspired and emotionally triggered – make them laugh, make them cry, make them feel, but don’t make them upset. Criticism is unsuccessful because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment”.

Until now we have discussed specifically how to win a friend. Let’s see the other side of the coin. Influence people. Primary I want to give you three behaviors can improve our social skills smile, person’s name, and control temper. One simple smile can go a long way. When we are smiling, we are transmitting: “I feel glad to see you”, “you are important for me”, without saying any word because it is part of the body languages. Secondly, the person’s name is an example of that person’s identity. Remembering and using someone’s name is a great way to make that person feel important. Finally, we have to learn how to control our temper. If someone is offending you or trying to fight with you. The best way to avoid that is keeping silent and apologize even when we are not to blame. it is impossible to win an argument. If we lose the argument, we lose; if we win the argument, we have made the other person feel inferior, hurt his pride, and made him resent us. In other words, we still lose. Show respect for others person’s opinions never say “you are wrong”.

Now, let’s see how to influence people. The first thing we have to keep in mind what we want from that person and what that person wants for themselves. I am going to explain this in an easy way by giving you an example: If you are a personal trainer, you are not going to look for client and say: “Hey, I want to build my customer base. Are you interesting in me training you?” You are going to say: “Hey I want to help you to lose weight. I going to train with you I going to sweet with you I’m going to fight with you, and we are going to lose weight together”. The key is put yourself in the other’s person perspective.

Last thing I want to develop is avoid giving orders because nobody likes that. What if, instead of telling people what to do, we gave them the opportunity to do things by themselves, to learn from their own mistakes? Instead of saying “Do this” or “Don’t do that,” we should more often say, “You might consider this,” or “Do you think that would work?” We long remember brash orders we’ve been given, times we’ve been screamed at, even if they were done to correct a bad error. But if we ask questions that give people the opportunity to correct errors themselves, we save their pride and give them a feeling of importance. Asking questions also stimulates creativity, leading to new ideas and better solutions.